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My dear fans,
I.... could had been a lot better if I knew what Im suppose to do & stay focus on it. Unfortunately, things doesn't turn up well & my age catching up on me. However, there's still hope... the last hope!
Im a freeloader in my own house. My family are the best family I ever had. They just knew what I kind of person I am & how to deal with me... in fact, dispite all the shitty negative things I burden them, they still shower me with love & guide me. I felt bad in my own part, especially, knowing that I am a freeloader in my own house.
I couldn't pretend that age is not catching up on me. I can't pretend that I'm doing very well in any area. I don't want to dream that I'm Super-Somebody but Im just "Ju". I also must not be a follower, instead,I want to be a leader! I want to be someone, who would show good example I just don't want to say, but do it by action.
This holiday had teach me one thing...
"bE a MAN, Do THe RigHt tHiNg!" - Russel Peter
Ken told me... I must take IELTS and we can Graduate! His word really sturred my heart! It's not him at all! Since when Ken cared? I guess he just did.. & I must act upon it. Dad and mom still believe in me! Still thinks that Im the "annoyted" one! (some christian "The Chosen One" thinggy...)
This time, I had planned well! For this year, will be my end of College days! Vivian and Shay Li graduate before me! What is this? It shows clearly that girls mature faster then men! Even my mei mei also can do very well! I can't take this pressure where everybody is doing very well, left me like a sitting duck! No.... I feel shame... No, It is not that I got pride or something.... It is just...
shame....
.......
...
What a shame!....
After many hours of thinking and decorating homepage (http://www.juwanda.com is not finish yet), playing DOTA, cleaning my own room... All this doing, is to forget the shame feeling in my heart and also, we do not want to think that we are hopeless all the time, do we? I had made up my mind to be SERIOUS & more DISCIPLINE! In the eyes of my parent's advice & trying to be more hardworking for this year, I just wanna finish it quick! I don't want to see a girl age 21, graduate.. and I am at 28? WOW! Takes that long?
When there's a time for church, WE GO TO CHURCH! When there is a time for CG, we make the BEST out of CG! When there is a time for Family/home responsibility, WE do out part as a matured adult!
WHEN IT COME TO STUDY, WE F***KING STUDY HARD!
I played enough! I had college enough! Enough is enough! Time to grow up man! TIME DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE!
Right now, I'm just going to quit blogging... quit lepaking... I just want to do the Right thing!
OF COURSE, WITH GOD's GUIDANCE! I couldn't do much without his ultimate blessing!
There you go... I release everything that I wanted to blog of. I feel a lot better.
I might consider continuing my blog.. but I just want to have more time on my own. I want to do more appropriate things in my life! My family, my friends, my relatives... most of them are moving on... people at my age, married and have kids already...
Sooner or later, I'm gonna be like them! I'll have to join their club! But where am I now?
I want to change and I did prayed about it last night! I already discuss matters with my parents. I sincerely, *Cross My Heart & Hope To Die* want to change....
That's why, I must quit blogging and know my priority! When I'm stable and done, I might probably come back and resume blogging!
But before I do, I want to say that I love you all and thank you one more time, for reading my blog! I hope that my blog will be able to bless each and everyone of you!
Take care, Good Luck & may The New Year 2006, bless us all! Goodbye....
P/s: Pray for me, ok? *muaks* & *hugs* | 
-=The 
